On the list of things you never want to see in your life, Benzino naked is probably up there among other things like “seeing your parents have sex” and “watching killer ants eat a toddler alive.” Unfortunately, someone has forced us all to see Mr. No-Neck’s frank and beans.

Benzino likes to act like he’s some kind of Lothario. A man that no woman can resist. But in reality, he’s a chicken-nugget shaped, high yellow, oversized dwarf. Which basically means he’s really on nobody’s “Sexiest Man Alive” list. But in his own mind, he’s killing the game.

After Benzino absorbs the response from everyone on the Internet though, he’ll finally know that his wang is nobody’s kang.

Baller Alert got its hands on a nude selfie (You know Karlie Redd’s messy ass probably emailed it in) and published the “goods” for the world to see. (SIDEBAR: We ain’t posting that nasty isht uncensored here, so you better find out where you should click in this post!)

Benzino’s side of the story is that he “lost his phone” and someone posted the pics.

if you lose your phone, & you have a lock on it, they can still break it smh im sure we all take naked pics but their suppose to be private

— BENZINO (@IAMBENZINO) August 21, 2013

Benzino is so thirsty that I wouldn’t put it past him to be the source behind this whole naked picture leak. But hey, that’s me.

For his part, Benzino vows never to take nude bathroom selfies again.

as of today NO MORE BATHROOM SELFIES EVER AGAIN!!!! I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON AND APOLOGIZES TO ALL…. (Im gonna do better) and I will ????

— BENZINO (@IAMBENZINO) August 22, 2013

Amen. The world is now a safer place.